Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

Amon-Ra Doggin

Managed by Jimmy · Ranked #9 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

1–1

Points For

198.5

Points Against

192.2

Streak

W-1

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 99.2 points per game (Week 1: 89.9, Week 2: 108.6), a +18.7 trend, season high of 108.6 and a floor of 89.9. The arrow is pointing sideways.

Sitting at 1-1, Amon-Ra Doggin are the definition of mid — which in this league means one monster week from total glory or total collapse. There is no in-between. There never is.

Opponents have managed just 192.2 points against them — the stingiest mark in the league. Either brilliant management or the kind of luck that runs out in October.

Riding a W-1 streak into this week. Momentum is real, say people who have never watched fantasy football.

The difference-makers: Matthew Stafford, Christian McCaffrey, Kenneth Walker III, Rome Odunze. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Amon-Ra Doggin can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“Injuries are just God's waiver wire.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · LAR

Matthew Stafford

Week 3 vs DEN: a Tim Heaney sit candidate against Denver.

QB · PIT

Aaron Rodgers

Week 3 vs CIN: a middle-of-the-pack CIN defense.

RB · SF

Christian McCaffrey

Week 3 vs ARI: a middle-of-the-pack ARI defense.

RB · KC

Kenneth Walker III

Week 3 vs MIA: a middle-of-the-pack MIA defense.

WR · CHI

Rome Odunze

Week 3 vs PHI: RotoBaller's worst WR/CB matchup of the week: Quinyon Mitchell in coverage with third-stringer Case Keenum likely at QB Monday night.

WR · ARI

Marvin Harrison Jr.

Week 3 vs SF: San Francisco allows the 7th-fewest points per target to perimeter WRs.

The Roster

16 players, 14 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Matthew Stafford	LAR	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
RB	Christian McCaffrey	SF	On the roster. Technically.
RB	Kenneth Walker III	KC	The glue guy. The glue is old.
WR	Rome Odunze	CHI	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
WR	Marvin Harrison Jr.	ARI	The glue guy. The glue is old.
WR	Jordan Addison	MIN	Certified bucket-getter.
TE	Colston Loveland	CHI	Certified bucket-getter.
RB	Aaron Jones Sr.	MIN	A cornerstone. Of something.
QB	Aaron Rodgers	PIT	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Carnell Tate	TEN	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
WR	A.J. Brown	NE	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Xavier Worthy	KC	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
RB	Kenny Gainwell	TB	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
WR	Tre Tucker	LV	The glue guy. The glue is old.
K	Evan McPherson	CIN	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
DEF	Chargers	LAC	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	THOR	L	89.9 – 129.4	A loss. The film has been burned.
Week 2	immadi's Blitzers	W	108.6 – 62.8	A certified shellacking. The opponent's family was notified.

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