Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT  ///  Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT  ///  Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT
FAKE NEWS FOOTBALL
First Take meets The League
Power Rankings

Week 3: The Hierarchy

Twelve teams, one truth. Ordered by record, then points — and argued about by everyone.

1
MrBigChest is a buccing curse. 2-0
2-0 and top of the pile with 295.4 points. The most complete team through two weeks — and now everyone's gunning for them.
295.4PF
2
Marnie 2-0
2-0 with 287.9 PF and a +10.7 scoring trend. Unbeaten, but the numbers say the gap is thinner than the record suggests.
287.9PF
3
Iron Jayden 2-0
2-0 with 261.4 PF and a +2.2 scoring trend. Unbeaten, but the numbers say the gap is thinner than the record suggests.
261.4PF
4
Trick Play Kristen 1-1
Leads the league with 297.2 points after a 172.52-point Week 2 nuke — the highest single week of the season. Ceiling: the moon.
297.2PF
5
Screamin' Scoobies 1-1
1-1 with 258.2 points. Perfectly mid — which in this league means one monster week from glory or collapse.
258.2PF
6
Chase'n Brown Kids 1-1
1-1 but surging: +39.3 from Week 1 to Week 2. The arrow is pointing straight up.
255.8PF
7
immadi's Blitzers 1-1
1-1 and sliding -130.1. The talent is there; the trajectory is not.
255.7PF
8
THOR 1-1
1-1 and sliding -27.1. The talent is there; the trajectory is not.
231.7PF
9
Amon-Ra Doggin 1-1
1-1 with 198.5 points. Perfectly mid — which in this league means one monster week from glory or collapse.
198.5PF
10
Conspiracy Theory 0-2
0-2 with 278.0 points — second-most in the league. They've also allowed a league-worst 342.2. Wrong place, wrong opponents.
278.0PF
11
Comrade Gritty's 0-2
0-2 and 200.2 points. The numbers are not kind, and neither are we.
200.2PF
12
MrBigChest'sWildRide 0-2
0-2 and 179.2 points. The numbers are not kind, and neither are we.
179.2PF