Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

Chase'n Brown Kids

Managed by Mike · Ranked #6 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

1–1

Points For

255.8

Points Against

247.6

Streak

L-1

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 127.9 points per game (Week 1: 108.3, Week 2: 147.6), a +39.3 trend, season high of 147.6 and a floor of 108.3. The arrow is pointing straight up.

Sitting at 1-1, Chase'n Brown Kids are the definition of mid — which in this league means one monster week from total glory or total collapse. There is no in-between. There never is.

Currently on a L-1 skid. The manager has been seen refreshing the waiver wire at 3am. We've all been there. Most of us left.

The difference-makers: Joe Burrow, Saquon Barkley, Blake Corum, CeeDee Lamb. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Chase'n Brown Kids can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“We didn't choose the mid life, the mid life chose us.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · CIN

Joe Burrow

Week 3 vs PIT: a middle-of-the-pack PIT defense.

QB · NO

Tyler Shough

Week 3 vs LV: the Fantasy Footballers' start of the week — he leads the NFL in passing yards and gets Las Vegas.

RB · PHI

Saquon Barkley

Week 3 vs CHI: will play Monday night through a stinger — in a cowboy collar.

RB · LAR

Blake Corum

Week 3 vs DEN: Denver allows the 4th-most fantasy points to RBs.

WR · DAL

CeeDee Lamb

Week 3 vs BAL: plays in Rio with a total in the low 50s.

WR · LAR

Davante Adams

Week 3 vs DEN: could draw a Patrick Surtain shadow on Sunday night if Puka Nacua sits (PFF).

The Roster

16 players, 14 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Joe Burrow	CIN	A warm body with a helmet.
RB	Saquon Barkley	PHI	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
RB	Blake Corum	LAR	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	CeeDee Lamb	DAL	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
WR	Davante Adams	LAR	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
WR	Luther Burden III	CHI	On the roster. Technically.
TE	Trey McBride	ARI	A warm body with a helmet.
WR	DK Metcalf	PIT	Certified bucket-getter.
QB	Tyler Shough	NO	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
RB	TreVeyon Henderson	NE	Certified bucket-getter.
WR	Michael Wilson	ARI	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
TE	Juwan Johnson	NO	The glue guy. The glue is old.
RB	Tank Bigsby	PHI	On the roster. Technically.
QB	Kirk Cousins	LV	The glue guy. The glue is old.
K	Chris Boswell	PIT	The glue guy. The glue is old.
DEF	Texans	HOU	A warm body with a helmet.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	MrBigChest'sWildRide	W	108.3 – 91.8	Handled business. Business has been handled.
Week 2	MrBigChest is a buccing curse.	L	147.6 – 155.7	A heartbreaker. The group chat showed no mercy.

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