Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

Comrade Gritty's

Managed by Mikhail A · Ranked #11 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

0–2

Points For

200.2

Points Against

302.1

Streak

L-2

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 100.1 points per game (Week 1: 112.6, Week 2: 87.6), a -25.0 trend, season high of 112.6 and a floor of 87.6. The arrow is pointing into the turf.

At 0-2, things are bleak. Not 'we need to make a trade' bleak — 'we need to make a lifestyle change' bleak. The good news: it literally cannot get worse. The bad news: we said that last week too.

Currently on a L-2 skid. The manager has been seen refreshing the waiver wire at 3am. We've all been there. Most of us left.

The difference-makers: Drake Maye, Chase Brown, Travis Etienne Jr., DeVonta Smith. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Comrade Gritty's can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“Injuries are just God's waiver wire.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · NE

Drake Maye

Week 3 vs JAX: a middle-of-the-pack JAX defense.

QB · JAX

Trevor Lawrence

Week 3 vs NE: Mike Fanelli's sit of the week: New England has held QBs to 8.8 fantasy points per game, 4th-fewest in the NFL.

RB · CIN

Chase Brown

Week 3 vs PIT: a middle-of-the-pack PIT defense.

RB · NO

Travis Etienne Jr.

Week 3 vs LV: a middle-of-the-pack LV defense.

WR · PHI

DeVonta Smith

Week 3 vs CHI: a middle-of-the-pack CHI defense.

WR · GB

Matthew Golden

Thursday final: banked ~21.0 pts (5 catches for 100 yards and a TD).

The Roster

17 players, 15 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Drake Maye	NE	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Chase Brown	CIN	The glue guy. The glue is old.
RB	Travis Etienne Jr.	NO	Certified bucket-getter.
WR	DeVonta Smith	PHI	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Matthew Golden	GB	Certified bucket-getter.
WR	Romeo Doubs	NE	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
TE	Tucker Kraft	GB	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
RB	Jadarian Price	SEA	The glue guy. The glue is old.
QB	Trevor Lawrence	JAX	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
WR	Rashid Shaheed	SEA	A warm body with a helmet.
TE	Brenton Strange	JAX	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
RB	Kaelon Black	SF	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Emmett Johnson	KC	A cornerstone. Of something.
RB	Zach Charbonnet	SEA	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
WR	Alec Pierce	IND	On the roster. Technically.
K	Jake Bates	DET	The glue guy. The glue is old.
DEF	Seahawks	SEA	A cornerstone. Of something.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Iron Jayden	L	112.6 – 129.6	A loss. The film has been burned.
Week 2	Trick Play Kristen	L	87.6 – 172.5	A massacre. There will be a 30-for-30 about this.

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