Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

immadi's Blitzers

Managed by immadi · Ranked #7 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

1–1

Points For

255.7

Points Against

244.6

Streak

L-1

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 127.8 points per game (Week 1: 192.9, Week 2: 62.8), a -130.1 trend, season high of 192.9 and a floor of 62.8. The arrow is pointing into the turf.

Sitting at 1-1, immadi's Blitzers are the definition of mid — which in this league means one monster week from total glory or total collapse. There is no in-between. There never is.

Currently on a L-1 skid. The manager has been seen refreshing the waiver wire at 3am. We've all been there. Most of us left.

After going from Week 1's top scorer to Week 2's lowest at 62.80 points, scientists are studying whether the AI autodraft achieved sentience just to embarrass him. Findings are inconclusive. The embarrassment is not.

The difference-makers: Malik Willis, Bijan Robinson, D'Andre Swift, Malik Nabers. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, immadi's Blitzers can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“We're not rebuilding. We're pre-building. There's a difference. We'll explain later.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · MIA

Malik Willis

Week 3 vs KC: a middle-of-the-pack KC defense.

QB · NYG

Jameis Winston

Week 3 vs TEN: starts with Jaxson Dart out for the season, but heavy rain and wind are expected in East Rutherford.

RB · ATL

Bijan Robinson

Thursday final: banked ~35.3 pts (29 carries for 194 yards and 2 TDs).

RB · CHI

D'Andre Swift

Week 3 vs PHI: likely catching passes from 38-year-old Case Keenum on Monday night.

WR · NYG

Malik Nabers

Week 3 vs TEN: heavy rain/wind in East Rutherford plus a backup quarterback.

WR · GB

Christian Watson

Thursday final: banked ~22.6 pts (7 catches for 96 yards and a TD).

The Roster

17 players, 15 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Malik Willis	MIA	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Bijan Robinson	ATL	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
RB	D'Andre Swift	CHI	Certified bucket-getter.
WR	Malik Nabers	NYG	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
WR	Christian Watson	GB	The glue guy. The glue is old.
WR	Parker Washington	JAX	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
TE	Brock Bowers	LV	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Rachaad White	WAS	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
QB	Jameis Winston	NYG	On the roster. Technically.
WR	Nico Collins	HOU	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
RB	Jonathon Brooks	CAR	On the roster. Technically.
TE	Dallas Goedert	PHI	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
WR	KC Concepcion Jr.	CLE	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Keenan Allen	IND	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Jordan Mason	MIN	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
K	Cameron Dicker	LAC	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
DEF	Packers	GB	A warm body with a helmet.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Conspiracy Theory	W	192.9 – 136.1	A certified shellacking. The opponent's family was notified.
Week 2	Amon-Ra Doggin	L	62.8 – 108.6	A massacre. There will be a 30-for-30 about this.

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