Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

MrBigChest is a buccing curse.

Managed by scott · Ranked #1 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

2–0

Points For

295.4

Points Against

272.3

Streak

W-2

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 147.7 points per game (Week 1: 139.6, Week 2: 155.7), a +16.1 trend, season high of 155.7 and a floor of 139.6. The arrow is pointing sideways.

At 2-0, MrBigChest is a buccing curse. are one of the league's last unbeatens. The parade route is being planned. The parade will be one guy in a jersey honking a horn, but still.

Riding a W-2 streak into this week. Momentum is real, say people who have never watched fantasy football.

The commissioner's squad. Running the league AND occupying last place is a power move nobody asked for. Every ruling he makes now carries the distinct aroma of a man with nothing left to lose.

The difference-makers: Dak Prescott, Derrick Henry, Jeremiyah Love, Amon-Ra St. Brown. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, MrBigChest is a buccing curse. can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“Our process is trust-based. We trust the process. The process has filed for divorce.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · DAL

Dak Prescott

Week 3 vs BAL: in Rio against Baltimore — and a Tim Heaney sit candidate this week.

QB · DET

Jared Goff

Week 3 vs NYJ: the Jets have allowed the 2nd-fewest passing yards in the league.

RB · BAL

Derrick Henry

Week 3 vs DAL: gets Dallas in Rio in one of the week's highest totals (low 50s).

RB · ARI

Jeremiyah Love

Week 3 vs SF: a middle-of-the-pack SF defense.

WR · DET

Amon-Ra St. Brown

Week 3 vs NYJ: the Jets have allowed the 2nd-fewest passing yards in the league.

WR · CIN

Tee Higgins

Week 3 vs PIT: Pittsburgh plays the 6th-lowest man-coverage rate, limiting shadow coverage.

The Roster

16 players, 14 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Dak Prescott	DAL	On the roster. Technically.
RB	Derrick Henry	BAL	A warm body with a helmet.
RB	Jeremiyah Love	ARI	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
WR	Amon-Ra St. Brown	DET	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
WR	Tee Higgins	CIN	The glue guy. The glue is old.
WR	DJ Moore	BUF	A warm body with a helmet.
TE	Jake Ferguson	DAL	Certified bucket-getter.
RB	MarShawn Lloyd	GB	A cornerstone. Of something.
QB	Jared Goff	DET	Certified bucket-getter.
WR	Quentin Johnston	LAC	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
RB	J.K. Dobbins	DEN	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
QB	Daniel Jones	IND	On the roster. Technically.
RB	Alvin Kamara	NO	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
QB	Sam Darnold	SEA	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
K	Brandon Aubrey	DAL	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
DEF	Rams	LAR	A cornerstone. Of something.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Trick Play Kristen	W	139.6 – 124.7	Handled business. Business has been handled.
Week 2	Chase'n Brown Kids	W	155.7 – 147.6	Survived by the skin of their teeth. Teeth remain.

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