Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// Trick Play Kristen LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ TACO'S LOCK OF THE WEEK IS IN: FADE ACCORDINGLY +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

Screamin' Scoobies

Managed by Bill Skubinna · Ranked #5 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

1–1

Points For

258.2

Points Against

226.0

Streak

W-1

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 129.1 points per game (Week 1: 131.2, Week 2: 127.0), a -4.2 trend, season high of 131.2 and a floor of 127.0. The arrow is pointing sideways.

Sitting at 1-1, Screamin' Scoobies are the definition of mid — which in this league means one monster week from total glory or total collapse. There is no in-between. There never is.

Riding a W-1 streak into this week. Momentum is real, say people who have never watched fantasy football.

The difference-makers: Josh Allen, Javonte Williams, Kyren Williams, Jameson Williams. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Screamin' Scoobies can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“We didn't choose the mid life, the mid life chose us.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · BUF

Josh Allen

Week 3 vs LAC: in a tier of his own this week (Lindy's).

QB · SF

Brock Purdy

Week 3 vs ARI: a Tim Heaney recommended start in a favorable matchup.

RB · DAL

Javonte Williams

Week 3 vs BAL: a middle-of-the-pack BAL defense.

RB · LAR

Kyren Williams

Week 3 vs DEN: Denver allows the 4th-most fantasy points to RBs.

WR · DET

Jameson Williams

Week 3 vs NYJ: the Jets have allowed the 2nd-fewest passing yards in the league.

WR · SF

Deebo Samuel Sr.

Week 3 vs ARI: a middle-of-the-pack ARI defense.

The Roster

16 players, 14 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Josh Allen	BUF	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
RB	Javonte Williams	DAL	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
RB	Kyren Williams	LAR	A warm body with a helmet.
WR	Jameson Williams	DET	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Deebo Samuel Sr.	SF	On the roster. Technically.
WR	Ladd McConkey	LAC	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
TE	Hunter Henry	NE	A cornerstone. Of something.
WR	Rashod Bateman	BAL	The glue guy. The glue is old.
QB	Brock Purdy	SF	On the roster. Technically.
RB	Jacory Croskey-Merritt	WAS	On the roster. Technically.
QB	Baker Mayfield	TB	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Brian Thomas Jr.	JAX	A warm body with a helmet.
RB	Tyler Allgeier	ARI	A cornerstone. Of something.
WR	Michael Pittman Jr.	PIT	Certified bucket-getter.
K	Jason Myers	SEA	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
DEF	49ers	SF	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Marnie	L	131.2 – 138.6	A heartbreaker. The group chat showed no mercy.
Week 2	MrBigChest'sWildRide	W	127.0 – 87.4	Handled business. Business has been handled.

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